The Buvez Coca-Cola Table

A year or so ago, I salvaged a sad-looking French-Canadian Coca-Cola soda crate, tore it apart, and upcycled the wood into a birdhouse.  That wasn’t my original plan for the soda crate; but it worked out well in the end.

But now, I want to take some French-Canadian Coca-Cola soda crates, bash them up, and turn them into some sort of furniture.

And this could be tres fun.

French-Canadian Coca-Cola soda crates are distinctive in that they have green print (as opposed to the Coca-Cola red script), and while one side will say “Drink Coca-Cola,” the other side will exclaim, “Buvez Coca-Cola.”

I figure that with a pair of Coca-Cola Canadian crates, I can take the sides apart from the crates, re-assemble them as a flat-top table with four sides, and then craft some table legs for the base.

Yeah, that seems simple.

But this is from a guy who tore apart a few soda crates last year, and one of them actually won an award at the New York State Fair.

So after taking apart some of the crates … I discovered that not all Coca-Cola wooden crates are the same.  One box had good solid wood, while another box had thin, ratty scrap wood.  I can’t get those to match up…

After much searching and haggling, I finally found two Buvez Coca-Cola crates that were similar in construction.

A little disassembling, a little kit-bashing, and..

I took the four broadside panels – two from each crate – and screwed them together into a 20″ x 20″ square.  And here’s what I achieved.

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Now that’s not bad.  I put a base in this, and I could create a Coca-Cola planter.  Or maybe a kitty litter box.

Of course, then I’d need to get a cat.  And I’d need to get my landlord’s permission to own a cat.

All right, let’s keep going on this.

I need boards for the top of this project.  And that means a trip to Curtis Lumber.

After I looked around for the whereabouts of Curtis (he wasn’t working at Curtis Lumber that day), I did find an employee who sold me three cut pieces of red oak.  Laid side by side by side, I could create a 20″x 20″ table top.

Some screws atop the crate wall frame, and now I have a table top.

To make the red oak top match the pine sides, I stained the top panel with some Minwax Ipswich Pine stain.  Nice match, and the stain brings out the wood grain rather nicely.

Okay … another trip back to Curtis Lumber.  And after searching for Curtis (he wasn’t in, he must have had the entire weekend off), I found another employee who kindly sliced some 3″ x 3″ boards, providing me with four boards of 36″ length apiece.

And after some gluing and jostling and screwing and screwing and screwing … more screwing than in a Stormy Daniels double feature … yes I went there …

Here’s the finished project.

The Buvez Coca-Cola Table. Created by Chuck Miller.

I did it!  A coule of ratty old soda crates … now upcycled into a working table!  Perfect for a little breakfast nook or an ersatz crafts / work bench!

Oh man oh man, I can’t wait to enter this in competition and …

And …

Hey Miller, are you forgetting something?

How in the name of John Pemberton are you going to get this table to any competition?  In your car?  The table won’t fit in your car, how the hell are you going to get that table to Syracuse?  Teleportation?

Dang it.  The table’s too large.  If I can’t put the table in my car, there’s no way I can enter it in ANY competition.

Best laid schemes of mice and men, I guess…

And then something occurred to me.

This would make a really nice computer table.  I could store my computer tower AND my flatbed scanner on this thing.

Well, it might not be competition-worthy…

But in the end, it’s nice to have my own custom-made computer table.

And I still have time to build something else for Competition Season, either this year or next.

Especially if I can build this table.

Ha.