Spambots offering driving tips and crappy rap lyrics

Every so often, I’ll go through the spam filter on this blog to make sure nothing that was a REAL comment gets caught in the filter.  It happens once in a while, I unspam the comment, it gets posted, all is well with the world.

However, on occasion I will read what these spambots are posting … and I’m wondering … what the hell is in their spambrains?

Because right now, other than the “Your blog taught me so much, visit my site at” or other comments that appear influenced by an English is a Fifth Language course, the spambots are trying to rap – or they’re giving me driving tips.

Er … yeah.

Case in point.

Currently the spambots are sharing this rap lyric at me.

Black on black in the Charger I’m creepin’
Rub me the right way, you might get a genie
B.o.B, black Houdini

Um… yeah…

They’re quoting the first three lines from a rap song, “This Is It,” by rapper B.o.B.  Here’s the track.

So obviously the spambots are not comprehending that although I do appreciate rap music, I’m more of an old school rap dude.  You know … instead of a Black Houdini, I’d much prefer the black Whodini.

You can[‘t see it right now, but I’m playing this track on my computer and I’m grooving like it’s 1984 and I’m on the turntables at WHCL…

So when the spambots aren’t sharing random rap lyrics, instead I’m getting some weird driving tips against wearing seat belts.

Don’t wear seat belts lest you drown in you own urine

What in the name of Walter Chrysler is that supposed to mean?

Of course, I can imagine this.  You’re on a long road trip, you’ve been driving for days in the hot, hot sun … trying to stay hydrated with plenty of bottles of Poland Spring … can’t find a bathroom… oh wait, there’s a service station up ahead, and all I have to do is get out of the car … unbuckle the seat belt … oh wait, the seat belt isn’t unlocking … it’s stuck … oh dear God no… if I don’t get this seat belt loose… maybe I can rip the belt apart … no such luck, I haven’t grown seat belt ripping muscles … oh crap, I gotta go … I gotta go … oh crap, I’m going … oh man, it’s not stopping … I can’t get out of the car … help … help … (gurgling)

So yeah… I’m going to need some new pants, as well as a massive detailing in my car.  All because I wore my seat belts.

Honestly, though, I figure that these spambots are trying anything and everything to get past the spam filters and try to post their links to overseas gambling sites and malware-infested porn sites, hoping that bloggers who want comments on their site will simply approve these comments.

Yeah … no.  I’m good with that.

And I don’t have to worry about drowning in my own urine because I wore my seat belts, thank you very much spambots.

I do what a normal person does.

I go to the bathroom BEFORE I get in the car.

Oh well.. at least I’m not getting the spambot “Lee and Larry” Sunday school comments any more…  here’s a link to another blogger who still gets those.

Man, I wish we could just go back to the old days, when the only spam someone would give you… was this kind of spam.

Okay, now I’m hungry.  Grocery store run.  Back in black, in the Charger I’m drivin’… without wearing seat belts, lest I drown in my own urine… ha ha ha ha ha …