No, I can’t get Nikon cataract implants… dang it…

So here’s the deal.  I’m scheduled for cataract surgery this winter.  Right eye first, then left eye – the right eye right now has the visual acuity of nylon hosiery, the left eye is holding up but I suspect it’s looking for a package of L’eggs soon.

I recently visited the optical surgeon who will be performing the surgery upon my eyeballs, and asked lots of questions.

To say that I’m nervous would be an understatement.  I also know that other people have either undertaken cataract surgery successfully, or they know a parent / sibling / coworker / frenemy who also successfully went through the process.

I need to follow the doctor’s instructions to the letter.  To the cedilla under the C in the letter.

I will receive three medicines that are eye drops.  These are to be used on a strict schedule and order.

My old cataractrs will be replaced with new acrylic implants.  The benefits?  Clear vision.

And as an additional treat, I can actually get something called a toric lens, which may cure my astigmatism.  I will need reading glasses for close distances, though …

Driving, though – that’s going to be the big issue from now until surgery day.

As  I mentioned in a previous  blog post, night driving is off the table until surgery day.  I’m limiting any driving to daytime-related efforts.  There are three upcoming events that I would normally drive to and leave at night; in those instances, I will call a cab.  The last thing I want is to cause a car accident.

I’m really hoping this works.  To say I’m frightened about this would be an understatement.  This is surgery on my eyes, for crying out loud.  Two different surgeries, each a month apart.  My surgical spirit animal’s going to be working overtime.

Trust me, I’ve got a good spiritual surgical animal – Tetrameter, a grizzly bear that speaks in iambic pentameter doggerel.  If you’ve never met Tetrameter, here’s a blog post.  And here’s another blog post.  And a third blog post.  And yes, he’s been a surgical spirit animal in the past.

I’ll make it through.  I have to.

So everybody please bear with me and forgive me if I seem a little out of sorts over this.

Besides, if I can get great photos like this with my eyes clogged up in cataract debris…

Half Moon and Full Rainbow. BlackBerry camera phone. Photo (c) Chuck Miller, all rights reserved.

Then I still have a shot, don’t I?