I like the Albany-based rock band Blotto. Always have, especially back in the 1970’s when radio stations like WFLY and WTRY and 3WD actually PLAYED their songs as part of their regular rotation of Top 40 hits. And that doesn’t happen these days.
Of course, if you know anything about Blotto, you know that their most iconic hit was the surf track “I Wanna Be a Lifeguard.”
Here’s the original version, this was the track from the original four-song EP “Hello! My Name is Blotto, What’s Yours?”
Eventually they re-recorded the song and crafted a music video, which received some decent play on this nascent music video channel called MTV. Yes, back in the day when they weren’t showing Catfish episodes all day and night.
This song is popular … and it’s also imitated.
For example, check out this tribute to “I Wanna Be a Lifeguard,” as performed in a cheezy 80’s VHS music video.
Bwa ha ha ha ha…
Okay, that was kinda cute.
I show this because…
I’m Facebook friends with Paul Rapp, he is also “F Lee Harvey Blotto” the drummer for the band. And yesterday, someone alerted him to a cover version of “I Wanna Be a Lifeguard.”
No, seriously. He found a cover version by some group called Scud Lightning.
So I’m curious. “Lifeguard” is a song that you don’t often hear someone cover. So I’m curious.
I heard the track…
And …
Um …
Er …
Ah …
Could you excuse me for a second?
(running to bathroom)
(performing technicolor yawn)
Yeah. I can’t figure out if Scud Lightning was trying to do the song surf style or power pop style or what. Honestly, the track sounds more like … um … scuse me, I have to go back in the bathroom again.
(blecchhhhhh)
Okay…
Look, there are just some songs you don’t cover. You don’t cover “Sweet Child o’ Mine” as a ballad, Sheryl Crow. You don’t cover Earth Wind and Fire’s “September” as a mellow track, Taylor Swift. This is not done by normal people.
So … obviously Scud Lightning thought they could do a new interpretation of “Lifeguard.”
Perhaps they should have focused on THIS song, also called “I Wanna Be a Lifeguard.”
Just sayin’ is all… and leave Blotto covers to the experts.
Although I do hope Scud Lightning has the proper address to send their royalty payments.
See, the “F” in F Lee Harvey Blotto is an homage to F. Lee Bailey, since Blotto’s drummer is also an attorney whose expertise is in copyright.
And trust me, I won’t let Blotto off the hook on this either.
See, one of their early tracks included a disco-fied cover of the Supremes’ “Stop! In the Name of Love.”
Good thing Blotto is better at the original tracks. Just sayin’ is all…
Chuck The Writer 
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