The “Rainbow Roses” growing technique – guaranteed to work! (Sorta)

I see these ads on my Facebook feed.  They’re usually from a company called Jack Seeds, whose advertisements claim that gardeners can grow exotic plants with vibrant, never-before-achieved colors – all the gardeners need to do is buy these magic seeds from Jack Seeds.

Right.  And then the beanstalk grows and you get to find the goose that lays the golden eggs from the giant’s castle, right?

Listen, the best way to describe these advertisements is that they’re full of manure.

Straight up turds.

Listen very carefully to me.  I’ll even put it in a bold Italic font.

You cannot grow “rainbow roses.”  It is impossible.  It’s like planting Cheerios in the ground and growing bagels on the vine.

Are we clear on this?

But that doesn’t stop surreptitious companies from offering seeds of various exotic plants, which they claim will allow you to grow these fantastic, phenomenal, exquisite blooms.

Yeah, right.  The only thing these companies are harvesting are suckers.

Now there are florists that sell “rainbow roses,” but those plants have specially dyed petals for the purpose.

And there are YouTube and Pinterest videos and tutorials about using food coloring to grow your own “rainbow roses.”

Some tutorials use colored floral spray to create the rainbow rose effect.

Other techniques involve soaking the stems in colored water and letting the roses soak up the colors into the petals.

But realistically, you’re either spraypainting the petals or soaking them in food coloring.  You can’t grow rainbow roses.

Trust me, I tried this.  Not growing them, mind you …

Instead, I bought some white roses and soaked the stems in food coloring.  I also split open a couple of stems in the hopes that I would get different colored patterns in my roses.

What I ended up with was a robin’s egg blue rose, a coral colored rose, and one that looks like a creamsicle.

Well, what to do with these roses?

I put three of them in an old water bottle, and since it was a beautiful day yesterday, I went over to the Green Island municipal park – the one along the Hudson River, near Heatly High School – and did a little photo shoot.

I broke out the Nikon Df and caught an image or two.

Flowers with Saratoga Vichy. Nikon Df camera, Nikkor 50mm f/1.8G lens. Photo (c) Chuck Miller, all rights reserved.

I did also take some pictures of this little arrangement with my Nimslo three-dimensional film camera, but the film has to be developed.

Oh, but I did take some panoramic pictures with the Nikon Df and stitched them together, just so you can see what I hope to achieve with the Nimslo.

Flowers with Saratoga Vichy 2. Nikon Df camera, Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 lens, eight image stitched in lenticular move. Photo (c) Chuck Miller, all rights reserved.

Yeah, kinda wish that breeze didn’t hit the petals in mid-photo, but I’ll live with that.

The fact is, you’re not going to grow “rainbow roses” in the ground any more than you can throw Skittles and crayons in your peat moss and suddenly you’ve got rainbow marigolds or something like that.

And creating your own “rainbow roses” with food coloring or spray paint is still a tricky endeavor.

But it made for a fun diversion on a Memorial Day weekend.

And maybe the shots from the Nimslo camera will really give a nice 3-D touch, once the film is developed.

Speaking of which, I have an order to drop off at McGreevy Pro Lab today.

Mustn’t forget to do so. 😀