So what is my mood when I sit on the porcelain throne? Now I know …

Remember mood rings?  Those skin-jewels that changed color, purportedly based on your mood, but in actuality based on your skin temperature?  Yeah, back in the 1970’s they were a fashion trend, along with feathered hair, cowl-neck sweaters and leisure suits.  I get it.

Well … apparently someone got their mitts on a couple bottles of thermal paint – the kind that changes color depending on temperature – and painted … of all things … a toilet seat.

Do I sound like I’m joking?

That’s right.  If you sit on the can, the pressure of your rear end will cause the toilet seat to change color.  So it’s no longer a commode, it’s a com-mood, amirite?

Okay, okay, so potty humor aside, what happens when someone claims to have made a thermal-reactive toilet seat?

Someone sells directions on manufacturing such product on their etsy site?  Sure.

Someone gets one of those Squarespace websites and designs a storefront for such products?  Of course.

And you get some YouTube stars who try to replicate the process.  And they film it.  And they put it online.

And then I find it and post it on my blog.

See, this is what I need in my life.  When nature calls, I need to sit down, contemplate my existence, think about life, the universe and everything, do my best imitation of Rodan’s The Thinker … and then all is done.

And after checking to make sure everything went down the drain, I can look at the toilet seat and get some sort of biometric interpretation of what’s going through my body.  Yeah.  This makes total sense.

I need to get one of these.  Sure.

But if you’re into this – er, butt if urine to this – why not go all out?  Nothing says “mood ring toilet seat accessories” better  than a toilet seat night light.

That’s right, so when you gotta go, you can go with the flow and a glow.  So…

Just one thing to remember.  If you’re going to use a mood ring toilet seat … whether or not it comes with a night light …

Best not to affix it to a plexiglass toilet.