During my self-imposed quarantine / sequester / whatever the hell we’re calling COVID-19 avoidance these days, I’ve been streaming through a lot of different television options on my Apple TV service. One of these options is the Tubi channel, which has a mixture of TV shows, movies and documentaries. Some of the offerings are worth watching – for example, there was an amazing documentary of how Native Americans have been portrayed in Hollywood – and some of Tubi’s offerings are just straight-up head scratchers (they’ve got the Russian sci-fi superhero bomb Guardians, and trust me you’ll wish you were watching the movie with the talking raccoon and the talking tree instead).
One of Tubi’s offerings is the cooking competition reality show Hell’s Kitchen, where former soccer player / current culinary maven Gordon Ramsay takes teams of cooks and chefs and makes them compete against each other for the chance to be head chef at one of his worldwide restaurants. Now for a guy who’s still working through “bachelor cooking,” I could never compete on Hell’s Kitchen. That being said, the show’s a fun watch nonetheless.
See, here’s the thing. Gordon Ramsay can curse like a longshoreman on a Sunday, and I’ve gotten so used to hearing the beeps and bleeps every time he curses, it’s almost expected.
So imagine my surprise when I discovered that Tubi has the entire run of Hell’s Kitchen – and all the episodes are uncensored.
Holy shit, Gordon Ramsay can go nearly full Carlin on this show! We’re talking straight on full Game of Thrones / Deadwood cursing!
And it got me wondering … how many other TV shows would sound so much better if they just allowed everyone to curse without censoring?
For example, let’s take a look at a trash TV classic from about 15 years ago. This show, Flavor of Love, is a The Bachelor clone in which rapper Flavor Flav gets to choose his new love interest from several different women. You might remember Flavor of Love, it spawned a second version in which Poison frontman Bret Michaels looked for his own love interest in Rock of Love, and then some of the Flavor of Love / Rock of Love girls got their own Bachelorette clone shows, and there was also a side show called I Love Money where some of these former contestants had to compete in obstacle courses for prize money … oh my head hurts …
Anyway, if you remember Flavor of Love at all, you know those girls on the show were straight up ladettes. Here’s proof, uncensored and full of fire.
I was going to put in an uncut, uncensored clip from the Rock of Love show, but it’s too early in the morning for such ribald debauchery. Ha. Plus, when you figure that Bret Michaels has now been reduced to appearing as the Banana on The Masked Singer … yeah.
But getting back to Gordon Ramsay and Tubi. Tubi has a ton of different shows and movies, and scrolling through their offerings is like rifling a box of 45’s at a yard sale. You have to get through all the crap stuff – who the hell has this much love for Barry Manilow – but eventually you do find that one worthwhile gem that’s designated for your collection. And that’s the way with Tubi. If you can sift through the crap, you can find a gem.
Just like finding how hard Gordon Ramsay can yell and curse at his underlings. Wowie.