Bachelor Cooking: Breaded chicken with Miracle Whip

So in an effort to socially distance from everybody, and to keep myself from falling into the clutches of contacting the Colonel or the Sailor Man for fried chicken, I’ve been making my own chicken delicacies.

So let’s start.

You need:

  • Boneless chicken breasts or thighs
  • One box of Shake n’ Bake
  • Miracle Whip salad dressing
  • Kosher salt, because every recipe needs Kosher salt

Preheat oven to 400.  Slather Miracle Whip on the chicken.  Pour the Shake ‘n Bake mixture into a dish.  Dip your chicken in the mix, making sure your chicken is covered completely.  Place on tray.  Cook for 25 minutes.  Serve.  Enjoy.

Okay, have a great…

What?  What did you say?

Yes, I used Miracle Whip.

I guess, if you were in a pinch, you could use mayonnaise, but it wouldn’t taste as good as Miracle Whip.

No, Miracle Whip is not an abomination.  Have some respect for yourself.

Oh, come on, people.  It’s not like I’ve advocated putting pineapples on pizza, although … you know what?  Pineapples are the best thing to put on a pizza.  They make the pizza taste delicious.

Oh, and by the way, the best Italian restaurant is an Olive Garden.

And the best sandwich shop is a Subway.

And if you want to unsubscribe from my blog because I DARE to use Miracle Whip in a recipe – even though I know that Miracle Whip is superior to mayonnaise in every single taste test – that’s on you, bubbe.

You know what else that might make you clutch your pearls?  I use two spaces after a period.  Always have, always will.  Quel Dommage!!

I also watch pro wrestling.  And I eat cottage cheese right out of the canister.

Which, of course, means someone out there is shouting, “Hey, no WONDER you’re a bachelor, Chuck, who the hell would put up with you?  I mean, isn’t eating Miracle Whip a grounds for divorce in some states?”

To which I say … get over yourself.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go formulate a new Bachelor Cooking recipe, which will most likely involve Miracle Whip, Velveeta and deep-fried Spam.

Mmmm… feeling hungry already. 😀