Yes, I wear a mask when I drive. You got a problem with that?

Let’s get things straight right now.  The condescending attitude of people like Breanna Morello just pisses me off.

Morello, who claims to be “fluent in sarcasm” on her Twitter account, posted this little tweet on Friday.


Yeah, this is the same passive-aggressive, condescending, superiority complex I’ve dealt with for ages.  But anyways, let’s take care of this right now, Bri-Bri Jr.  Education time.  Sit down and pay attention.

I wear a mask when I drive.  And yes, I’m alone in the car.  And there are VERY GOOD REASONS why I choose to wear a mask when I drive.

  1. The COVID-19 virus can live on skin, and it can enter through the nose or through the eyes or through the eyes, so it’s very easy for someone to have the virus on their fingers and then absent-mindedly touch their nose or rub their eyes.  And once the virus enters your body, it doesn’t come out.  Ever.  So if I wear a mask over my nose and mouth, it keeps me from absent-mindedly scratching my nose or touching my mouth, which I have a tendency to do when I drive.  And anything that will prevent the coronavirus from entering the body is a good thing.
  2. I will often order food from drive-thru restaurants.  And no matter who is serving me, three times out of ten they’re not wearing their masks properly.  So I don’t want to catch COVID-19 from them, so the mask stays on my face.
  3. I pump my own gas.  People can do that in New York.  And the COVID-19 virus can live for a few hours on stainless steel, including on the handles of gas pumps.  Until I feel that my hands are properly sanitized, the mask stays on until I get home and wash my hands.
  4. I will make short trips, sometimes to Stewart’s or to some other location, and I don’t want to have to bother with taking the mask off and putting it on and taking it off and putting it on again.  And I don’t want to be “that guy” who walks into Stewart’s without a mask, and have everybody yell at me.  So, I put the mask on from beginning of my trip until I come home.
  5. There’s still so much about COVID-19 that we don’t yet understand.  Every time we think we have the answers, COVID-19 changes the questions.  But one way to protect oneself against the coronavirus – the simplest way – is to wear a mask, unless you feel totally safe and socially distant enough to not wear one (for example, in my home, where I live alone, and I can wash my hands whenever I choose).

But your little sterilization joke about those who wear masks in their cars was, well, in all cases and manners, Breanna, just straight-up insulting.  So let’s get something straight.  I wear a mask when I drive my car, whether I’m alone or I have someone riding shotgun.  I use two spaces after a period.  I put pineapple on my pizza.  I believe that Die Hard is a Christmas movie.  And I have one final message for you, little Bri-Bri …