Well, look who’s back in my life.

Last Wednesday, I treated myself – well, I treated my 2013 Chevrolet Cruze “Dracourage” – to an 18-karat deep detailing at DePaula Chevrolet. And when I picked up the car that evening, it looked stunning. The interiors were clean, the trunk was shampooed, I almost thought that if I left it on the lot for ten extra minutes, DePaula might sell it to someone.

Nope. Mine, mine, mine.

Oh, and look. The DePaula detailers left me a little baggie with all the loose change they found. And the ten or fifteen ballpoints that had rolled under my car seat. And this little note with a Post-It on it.

I read the Post-It note.

Yep. They want back in.

It was an offer for a promotional trial of OnStar.

No. No, no, no. Not again.

Nine years ago, when I bought my 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt (the “Blackbird”), it came with a trial run of OnStar. But the things that OnStar promised in 2012 were far above what was available on a 2006 Chevrolet, and there was no way to upgrade the car to what OnStar could offer. So I let the subscription die out.

And when I did get Dracourage in 2016, it came with a three-month trial run of OnStar – but by then, many of its features were already available options on my phone. You know, things like GPS and the like. About the only thing OnStar could do with Dracourage was that, for two years, I received e-mailed diagnostics that alerted me to low tire pressure, scheduled fluid changes, the like. And of course, while my car told me about these things, they were also telling DePaula Chevrolet, so that DePaula Chevrolet could call me up and schedule a service appointment.

I’m approaching five years with Dracourage. I’m not looking for any other chariot at this time.

This has to be a mistake. There’s no way that OnStar’s going to give me another trial run.

Watch, I’m going to press the little blue button on my rearview mirror, and we’re all going to have a good laugh.

Well, guess what. That offer three months of free OnStar premium coverage? It’s good.

I explained that I had it before, and that there wasn’t anything – with the exception of the vehicle maintenance e-mails – that really caught my attention. However, OnStar agreed to grant me at least a free month of their services – which would extend to three free months if I provided them a credit card, and that I could cancel at any time within the three-month period.

Well, I am going to try something with this new OnStar, and it’ll be within the trial period.

In about two weeks’ time, after I receive my second COVID-19 vaccine shot (and I can travel outside of New York without self-quarantining upon return), I have a plan to go photograph something in Pennsylvania. And I’ll program the directions in my phone, which is currently linked via the MyChevrolet app, to Dracourage. This way, I can use the car’s built-in GPS, without having to drain my phone batteries for a 5+ hour trip.

So this is the big test. Long distance with Dracourage? Easy as anything.

Now let’s see how well this works with the addition of OnStar to the mix.

Okay, OnStar, this is your test.

Impress me.