Why is Express Scripts calling me for exciting offers?

Cold-call scammers are in my Top 5 of people that I can do without. They are the usual ilk of “Your car warranty has expired,” or “We have an exciting travel offer for you,” or “Hydroxychloroquine can be the new Viagra, let me tell you about the possibilities.”

So when I started receiving cold calls from a robo-dialer, announcing themselves as Express Scripts with a new offer for me, I was extremely suspicious. I don’t have any accounts with Express Scripts, I get all my medical supplies directly from one specific pharmacy and nowhere else. And after the postal service got kneecapped by Louis DeJoy, I don’t feel comfortable receiving prescriptions through the mail from a multinational corporation.

But someone announcing themselves as Express Scripts kept calling me, leaving voicemails from a phone number in Pennsylvania. Great. Another fake scammer out there.

Well, maybe if this is a fraudulent company, Express Scripts needs to know about this. If someone’s pretending to be Express Scripts, this can be an issue.

I looked up Express Scripts’ number and called them. I didn’t take a chance to call that number on my Caller ID, in that I had no idea if that was truly “Express Scripts” or some boiler room company that claimed to be Express Scripts and was populated by thieves and scammers.

I reached a human at Express Scripts. I gave her the information I had. She said, “What is your account number with Express Scripts?”

I have no account.

“Yes, you do. I have you here on my files.”

Again – no, I don’t.

“Your health insurance company works with us. So we have you on file.”

So after five more minutes of this pas de deux, she finally transfers me to a supervisor.

Supervisor gets on the phone. I gave HIM the information that I have from this robocall company.

He puts me on hold.

Hold comes off.

“Oh, Mr. Miller, that’s actually one of our calling partners.”

Wait, what?

“Yes, we use a company to alert our members for new offers and plans available for their medications through Express Scripts.”

“But I’m not a member.”

“Well, because your insurance company partners with us, we have the opportunity to offer you these new and convenient plans for your medications and prescriptions.”

Great. Another pas de deux. Part Deux.

Eventually the supervisor agreed to remove my name from their automated contact list and to unsubscribe me from new offers.

But still … still …

What the hell, Express Scripts? You’re trying to contact me to subscribe to your mail-in-prescription service, and you’re using robocalls and spam tactics to get through? You’re using random-generated phone numbers to confuse my Caller ID on my phone? What the hell?

Ugh. Freakin’ ugh.

And the thing is, I was willing to give Express Scripts the benefit of the doubt when I called them. I thought that Express Scripts was being scammed by someone else, similar to those conjobbers who claim to be from “Visa/MasterCard Services” who want to offer me a 0% interest rate if I just give them my Social Security number and bank financial information.

But, nooooOOOOOooooooooooo.

This is one more miserable example of some company trying to use whatever tactic – above-the-board or under-the-table – to get what they want, and what they want is to get the money out of my pocket and to convince me to willingly give that money to them.

Yeah, not happening.

Again … ugh.