Republican attention-whores are whoring themselves on Cameo.

I’ve used Cameo in the past, and it’s a great gift idea if you want to send someone a birthday greeting or something of that nature. I’ve used it twice – once when my son Kris underwent surgery (gave him positive messages from Shangela), and once when Kris was having a birthday (with birthday greetings from Tamara Tunie of Law and Order: SVU).

But of late, I’ve noticed that among the many athletes and movie stars and other popular figures one can hire to give greetings – there seems to be a growing number of political figures willing to offer their own happy birthday messages and whatnot.

And surprisingly … well, not surprisingly … those messages are coming from Republican political figures.

I mean, seriously. Take a look at this ragtag batch of talking heads.

For $500, you can have Donald Trump, Jr. wish someone a Happy Birthday.

Yeesh. Looks like he just finished inhaling some white substance, and I don’t mean baby powder.

For $90, you can get Tomi Lahren to say whatever you want. And technically, that’s her going rate to say anything via Fox News.

If you’ve got $249 burning a hole in your pocket, you can get a message from Judge Jeanine Pirro. I mean, seriously, that kind of money should keep her box wine supply full for at least a week.

Kimberly Guilfoyle’s available for $200 per Cameo, and for a few extra dollars, she’ll do one of her weird twirling dances that are guaranteed to control your libido like saltpeter.

Roger Stone is available for $100. But I’m sure if you’re looking to create some sort of dirty tricks campaign, he’s open to extra additional fees.

Feeling a little cheap in the wallet? No worries, man! For the paltry price of $50, you can have low-rent trickster Jacob Wohl wish someone a happy birthday, while at the same time you can hear him discussing his latest conspiracy theory about Elizabeth Warren and her BDSM slave, or something along those lines. Yawn.

There’s a few other political figures on Cameo – Sarah Palin, Corey Lewandowski, Sean Spicer, George Papadopoulis, Laura Loomer, Rob Blagoyeich, essentially everybody that was part of the Trump orbit and are now looking to make a few dollars wherever they can. And all I’m posting is screen shots of the Cameo videos from these people; I’m not linking to the individual Cameo outlets. You really want to contact them, go to and spend your own money.

The thing is, you’re not going to find any of the Democratic operatives doing something like this. And if any of them are, those Cameos are most likely done as fundraisers for legit charities (yeah, like a Trump has ever donated ANYTHING to a legit charity). All I’m saying is, it sure seems funny that the enclave of Trumpian grifters and hangers-on and recently pardoned are all doing the “give me money and I’ll wish your cousin a happy birthday” grind.

And trust me, if I had $500 burning a hole in my pocket, the last thing I would spend it on is a video greeting from Donald Trump, Jr. I’d have a better return on my money if I went to the casino and put the entire amount in a slot machine.

At least then, you know the true one-armed bandits you’re dealing with.

I mean, seriously. Why spend $500 for Donald Trump, Jr. when you can spend $65 and have New York Yankees eardrum-piercing radio personality Suzyn Waldman wish your favorite Red Sox fan a happy birthday?

Yeah, I’m just sayin’, is all… 😀