Oh, this is hilarious.
Melania Trump, the cross-eyed, raccoon-mascaraed succubus of the former President, is now offering the ultimate in a vanity project. She’s going to sell digital watercolor non-fungible tokens of images of her eyes to willing suckers.
Oh, I kid you not.
No, seriously. Melania Trump is offering NFT’s of digital watercolor prints of her eyes, along with a physical amulet and a recording from Melania herself. And all it costs is one SOL (which apparently is some sort of cryptocurrency), with the proceeds going to Melania Trump’s Be Best campaign.
Be Best. Right. That woman is married to a grifter, she’s the stepmom to a pack of grifters, and she has about as much legitimacy as a charity as Miss Cleo.
Passion for art. That’s a laugh. That woman’s so clueless, she thinks Banksy is where you go to deposit a checksy.
And calling it “Melania’s Vision” – oh, that’s wild. The same vision who wore an “I really don’t care, do you?” trenchcoat as a fashion statement when visiting children that her husband put in cages. A modern-day Lucrezia Borgia.
And now she wants to get in on the cryptocurrency scam.
Fine. If she wants to do it, I want to do it.
Let me introduce you to my latest artwork. “Chuck’s Vision.”
Folks, that is a close-up shot of my eyeball. See, this is a very important piece, and it comes with a very special amulet that you can treasure (made up of some leftover paper clips that I strung together on a chain) and a special audio recording from me saying, “How the hell do you orient the camera on this new phone?”
And I’m offering it for the low cost of 1 Chuckycoin.
Chuckycoin will sell for $5.000 per coin. In exchange for your $5,000 (payable to me, Chuck Miller), you will receive one digital “coin.” That coin can only be used to purchase items on this blog page, such as that artwork above. Don’t steal that artwork, mind you. That’ll devalue the cost of the Chuckycoin, and you don’t want to do that.
And a portion of every Chuckycoin sold will go to the Be Bets initiative, where I take your currency and go to the harness track and bet on the horse that dropped his morning manure prior to post. But just think of the treasure you’ll have – a photo of my eyeball. And if you want my left eyeball, I can offer you a special deal of a matched set of both eyeballs for the low, low price of 4 Chuckycoins.
I guess what I need to say right now is…
Don’t fall for cryptocurrency scams. That’s all they are. If somebody’s that eager for you to invest in bitcoin or dogecoin or any of those coins, it’s because they want your money. Because that currency can dry up quickly in stormy weather. And trust me, you’d have a better chance of paying Stormy Daniels to watch her fold her clean laundry than you would of expecting anything of quality from someone with the Trump surname.
So remember, for the best in cryptocurrency, get yourself some Chuckycoins! Our motto is, buy Chuckycoins – they’re Chuckycheap! 😀