By: Chuck Miller
Writing

Wait until he finds out those crypto coins are worthless.

I get it. Brandon Brown is a struggling race car driver in NASCAR’s Xfinity series, one level below the top Cup level of motorsports. He’s been driving for a few years, mostly in underfunded rides.

But by sheer skill and luck and glory, the racing gods blessed him with his first win, a checkered flag at the legendary Talladega superspeedway. And as he climbed out of his car and celebrated his win, some rather surly fans in the grandstands started their own little chant.

And was reporter Kelly Stavast tried to interview Brandon Brown, the audible chants of “Fuck Joe Biden” were clearly heard. Stavast either misheard the chant, or thought that it would be a bad idea to legitimately curse in front of a microphone on broadcast television, and, well, here’s the video of that interview.

And you know what happened next. All the MAGA chuds started using “Let’s Go Brandon” as their coded oath when they really wanted to say “Fuck Joe Biden.” And they used that “Let’s Go Brandon” whenever they could get near any microphone or television camera. It was the equivalent of when Howard Stern’s fans would call TV stations, get on the air, and then start shouting “Baba Booey Baba Booey” as if it was some major accomplishment.

So now comes the news that Brandon Brown has found sponsorship for the 2022 Xfinity series. Sponsorship is very important to a sportscar driver. Sponsors cover lots of bills.

Well, the sponsor that Brandon Brown has is something called LGBcoin.io.

And in case you’re wondering what an LGBcoin is …

LGB stands for “Let’s Go Brandon.”

Which really stands for “Fuck Joe Biden.”

For crying out loud …

Everyone … listen to me. I speak the truth.

Cryptocurrencies are bubbles. They will burst. You can’t take your 25 bitcoin to the local bank and turn it into dollars. You can’t take your 25 Dogecoin and use it to buy postage at the post office. And the LGBcoin is nothing more than a scam to swindle MAGA chuds out of their savings.

I get it. Right now, sponsorships are hard to find. Extremely hard. And companies want to have their products advertised by their drivers in any way, shape or form. Heck, a few years ago Daniel Suarez lost his car’s sponsorship with Subway because Subway caught him either eating a competitor’s sandwich, or referencing it, I forget which.

And what is the coin based on? The blind, unrelenting hatred of Joe Biden as President.

Again, I have to say this. Brandon Brown could have called me. I would have GLADLY sponsored his car. I mean, he’s driving a Chevrolet. It just needs one little word on the hood.

CHUCKYCOIN.

That’s right, cats and kittens, it’s only the greatest cryptocoin in the whole wide world. Chuckycoin. For the simple cost of $5,000 US, you can purchase one Chuckycoin. You can use it to purchase items on my website or on my blog. You can even trade in a Chuckycoin for an NFT, as soon as I figure out what an NFT can do (all I know is that NFT stands for non-fungible token, but I’m pretty sure that none of my artworks have any fungibles in them).

I guess this just means that someone out there should create a TYBcoin for NASCAR. Maybe put it on the hood of another Xfinity car.

You know, TYBcoin. As in “Thank you, Brandon.”

Unless some MAGA snowflakes get triggered by that kind of thing.