Why pay $30 for a $2 Trump bill when I can sell you a Trump $1 for only $15?

I saw this yesterday and almost laughed my head off.

A company calling itself “Proud Patriots” is offering a new $2 bill with Donald Trump’s face on it. No, I’m serious. Take a look at this advertisement.

Wow. A $2 legal tender Trump bill. Just 65,000 more of these and I can purchase a night with Stormy Daniels!

Okay, all kidding aside …

This is just another scam by another scammer, pure and simple. And as a person who grew up with family members who were numismatists – my Grandma Betty and Aunt Elaine were both coin collectors – there’s plenty of blood-red flags on this little bank tender.

So let’s work together on this. $2 bills do exist. In fact, here’s an image of a $2 that I cribbed from a Wikipedia article.

So Thomas Jefferson is on the front of the bill, the word “TWO” is visible across the green Federal Treasury seal, and the bill’s reverse features the Founding Fathers signing the Declaration of Independence.

What “Proud Patriots” did here is take that Wikipedia $2 image, PhotoShopped Trump’s picture over Jefferson’s face, and cloned out one of the serial numbers to add Trump’s “signature” to the bill. No, seriously. Look at the serial number on the Wikipedia-cribbed image. It’s the same one that “Proud Patriots” used for their graphic. And the same signature of John Sununu as Secretary of the Treasury. And the same “A” denoting that the bill was manufactured at the Reserve Bank in Boston.

I told you. I grew up with numismatists.

And these scammers are only selling this treasure for $29.99 apiece. Yeah, I said “treasure.” As in someone should bury it.

Now is this “legal tender?” Well, technically the Jefferson $2 is a legal U.S. bank note. As I said before, you don’t find them in the wild that often; they’re about as plentiful as dollar coins. Great for collectors and hobbyists, more of a pain in the tuchus for cashiers.

“Proud Patriots” also offers a certificate of authenticity with each $2 bill, which states that the bill contains “an advanced technology to enhance this uncirculated currency,” and if it’s got a Certificate of Authenticity – with a bald eagle on it, no less – then it certainly MUST be genuine! Right??

Okay. It’s one thing to get one of those red rubber stamps and mark a $1 bill and log the serial number in on a “Where’s George” website and track the bill as it circulates around the country … but what we’ve got here is a novelty bill that borders on counterfeiting. Besides, are there actual gullible people in the world who can spend $30 of their hard-earned cash to buy a $2 bill with the Orange Goblin on its face?

Listen. I can help you out. If you really want a Donald Trump bill to spend at your local QAnon krumbcake koffee klatch, let me help you out.

This is a $1 bill. You might have one of these in your wallet or in your purse. Again, this was cribbed from Wikipedia.

Now with a little “advanced technology to enhance this uncirculated currency,” make a fold here and a fold there … and you have Donald Trump on a $1 bill.

Or at least his penis. And surprisingly, that image is larger than his real junk. Stormy Daniels can attest.

And rather than spending $30 on it, I’ll only charge you $15 for this knowledge. Or you can purchase this and other currency secrets and mysteries that “they don’t want you to know” by purchasing this blog’s most stable currency … the Chuckycoin.

That’s right, cats and kittens, the Chuckycoin is the most stable cryptocurrency out there. One Chuckycoin guarantees you access to purchase anything on my website, any of my artworks, heck, anything I own. The transfer fee is $5,000 for one Chuckycoin. Surely if you can spare $30 for a $2 Donald Trump bill that’s worth barely two cents … you can afford a Chuckycoin.

That’s Chuckycoin. Chuck-tested, Chuck-approved. #hahahahaha