Hey Stewarts, $5 / 2 = what??

I appreciate the local Stewarts Shops in the Capital District. Have for years. You can keep your Wawa and your Sheetz and your Cumberland Farms and all the other little rinky-dink food-and-gas outlets. I need me a pint of Philly Vanilla, a Peanut Butter & Butter on a kaiser bun, and a bottle of Diet Half ‘n Half to wash it all down. That’s a true Stewarts meal.

Oh, and let’s get something else straight. If you live in the Capital District, you already know how to pronounce the name of the store. It’s Stewarts. It rhymes with “sports” and “shorts” and “ports.” It is not STEWWW-URTZ, that’s some person’s name. It’s one syllable, one vowel. Not that hard. It’s like knowing that there’s a town of Ren-suh-LEER, but that it’s in REN-slur county. Even though they’re spelled the same way. Welcome to Regional Dialects 101.

Anyway … I stopped into Stewarts yesterday, picked up a bowl of hot corn chowder from their hot soup section, snagged some Half ‘n Half, and was about to leave when I saw this image in the bottled soda section.

See if you spot the problem as quickly as I did.

Look carefully.

Now I don’t claim to be a mathematics major, but … last I recall, $2.39 x 2 = $4.78. And factoring in the 5c bottle deposit for each drink, that would still make two bottles of Pepsi $4.88 at the cash register.

But hey, you can buy two bottles for the low price of $5! Wow! Ain’t that a great deal?

I see shit like this and I’m instantly reminded of the old Abbott and Costello routine. No, not the one about who’s on first. This one. The old “Two $10’s for a $5” routine.

I’m telling you, Stewarts… you’re a great place for quick food and tasty ice cream.

But man oh man, you really gotta work on your mathematics game.

Seriously, man.