The sofa-bed

I need a sofa-bed.  I really do.  The futon I bought a few years ago is seriously showing both its age and its shoddy construction.  And unless you want to hear me griping about a sore back every other blog post, you’ll let me get this sofa-bed.

A few weeks ago, I visited Huck Finn’s Warehouse to check out some of their sleeper couches.  They had a nice selection, and I tested a few of the sofas out – removed the cushions, pulled the frame out of the bed, checked the mattress comfort level, rolled to the left, rolled to the right (yes, Chuck Miller tosses and turns all night), made sure my face didn’t crash into the bed rails, etc.

And I found a sofa-sleeper that I liked.  And it was on sale, too – down to $650.

“And since we’re having a Memorial Week sale, we’ll take an additional $100 off the price of that sleeper,” the clerk said to me.

Nice.  $550 for a sofa-bed?  I can do that in my sleep.  Figuratively and literally.

But I have to get rid of my old, busted-down futon-couch.  I can’t just toss it to the street – instead, one must purchase a permit from the Town and Village of Green Island and discard the offending item only on the first or third Thursday of the month.  Trust me.  A Clean Island is a Green Island.

Plus, I had other things on my schedule before I could even take delivery of the unit.

“The sale’s good until when?” I asked.

“It’s good until next Sunday,” the clerk said.  “The day before Memorial Day.”

Okay.  Let me figure this out.

“So Huck Finn’s has a layaway program, right?”

“Yes, sir, you put 10% down and pay the rest within 30 days.”

Okay… so 10% of $550 is $55… so I could pay that first, and then after I get rid of the old futon and take care of a couple of other things, I could pay off the rest of the couch and Huck Finn’s can deliver it to me.  This works.

Next stop – Huck Finn’s customer service department.

And I explained what I wanted to do – put 10% of the price down and pay the rest off in 30 days.

“Okay, sir, there’s just one thing,” the customer service representative said to me.  “If you pay the sale price for the couch, you have to pay the full price before the end of the sale – this Sunday – or you will need to pay the retail price upon completion of the layaway.”

That sound you just heard was my jaw falling on the floor.

“Wait, even if I’m paying 10% of the current sale price today, and even if you offer 30 days to complete the payment, if I don’t pay the whole thing off by the end of the week, I have to pay the additional $100 that was part of the sale?”

“Yes, sir, I’m sorry, but those are the rules,” he said to me.

Grasp this for a second.  IF one pays 10% of $550 = $55 rendered to Huck Finn’s Warehouse, one would have 30 days to pay off the item.  Unless there’s a sale, to which one would have to pay 10% of $550 = $55, and pay the rest of the balance in 7 days.

Now if I hadn’t asked this question, I would have sat there 30 days later, wondering why I’m expected to pay an additional $100.

Is this making any sense to you?  Me neither.

So I telephoned Huck Finn’s Warehouse on Monday morning to confirm if this was just an honest misinterpretation of the layaway rules, or if I need to address my complaints to Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher and the rest of the Mark Twain expanded universe.  They don’t want to mess with Sir Boss.  No sirree.

Eventually I spoke to someone named Ken – he’s in charge of the sofas and sleepers at Huck Finn’s.  We talked, and eventually came to an agreement that the sale price plus the $100 discount would be honored if I put a down payment on the sofa-bed that day.  And I could have 30 days to pay the sofa-bed off at the full discounted sale price.  Once it was paid off, I could then arrange for delivery.

Great.  That would allow me enough time to get my old busted futon out of my apartment.  I immediately drove over to Huck Finn’s and put down a sizeable down payment on the sofa – and locked in the price and payment terms.

So yeah, I’m getting a sofa-bed.

There were several different models of sofa-beds available at Huck Finn’s, including queen-size and king-size mattresses.  I decided, instead, on getting a full-size mattress, wide enough for one adult.  No sense in spending extra money for a king-size sofa-bed that would just remind me that I’m sleeping alone.

Oh yeah, and one other thing.  I’m not writing this blog so that I can get a discount or any sort of special treatment from Huck Finn’s or from anywhere else.   Not only do FTC regulations prohibit that tactic, Chuck Miller doesn’t operate that tactic.  I don’t go into a place and say, “Hey, I’m Chuck Miller, I blog for the Albany Times Union, and I want a free piece of chocolate cake right now.”

That tactic doesn’t even work in a pastry shop.

So anyway, yeah, the sofa-bed’s arriving today, at some time between 10:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m., depending on Huck Finn’s prior delivery schedule.

And, if all goes well, a peaceful slumber should follow.