One America News Network – Celebrate the Followers of OnANism

So, the other day during one of Donald Trump’s press conferences on COVID-19, Trump continually referred to the disease as the “Chinese Virus,” which is a pejorative to suggest that Chinese people created the virus and Chinese people sent it over here.  Which of course is utter bullshit, the virus came from bats.  Bats do not have any nationality.

But be that as it may, near the end of the press conference, Trump found his final question from a commentator affiliated with the One America News Network.  The commentator, Chanel Rion, well, she produced a logical fallacy by claiming that if the term “Chinese Food” isn’t racist, then how can “Chinese Virus” be racist?

Yeah.  This is from the One America News Network, the super-ultra-conservative right-wing broadcast channel that recently bankrolled Rudy Giuliani’s recent dirt-digging trip to Ukraine.  This is a broadcast channel that has been TRYING to cobble together a conspiracy theory involving everyone from Hillary Clinton to George Soros to some mysterious e-mail server.  It’s serious wackadoodle territory.

Trust me.  The folks at One America News Network believe that COVID-19 was created in a North Carolina laboratory and was dumped onto the world in some sort of mysterious deep state scheme.  Yikes.

Say what?

I’m waiting for their next deep reporting scoop in which they discover that Elvis Presley has been living under an assumed name on a ranch in Arizona with Marilyn Monroe and their three kids, Peanut, Butter and Banana.

Well … I can certainly tell you this.  The One America News Network certainly has its fans and its supporters.  And if you ever need to identify those fans and supporters, there’s a great name for them.  It comes directly from their name.  OnANists.  It’s a real term, it’s in Webster’s Dictionary.  I wouldn’t make this up.

OnANists and the support of OnANism are definitely prevalent with this company.  OnANists have their finger right on the point of importance, and all it takes is just the right wiggle to get results.

OnANists definitely have whatever stroke it takes to get stuff done.  You know that an OnANist has been nearby, they leave their trademark everywhere.

Many OnANists can trace unrelated events and find connections to them.  OnANists can even stretch and pull their linkage all the way back to the Bible, with the story of Onan, who did not want any interruptus in his OnANism.

Even though OnANists might act like a big jerk, they’re not as much of a jerk as one would think.  They might seem like a little jerk or two, unless they’re trying to get their point across, then they can be quite a big jerk.

I’m not sure what an OnANist’s favorite movie is, but I’m betting it’s the Toy Story series … maybe they’re a fan of Woody, maybe they’re a fan of Buzz…

An OnANist doesn’t have time to negotiate.  They’re not the kind of people who “give an inch and take a mile.”  They’re probably looking for more than a few inches before they go that extra mile.

You can definitely be sure that OnANists have spunk.  Plenty of spunk.  And although you might not see what an OnANist can do in regular light, there are alternate light sources that can show how much an OnANist really does when given plenty of time.

Although there are instances of OnANists working together, by their own definition, an OnANist invariably does his own work.

If an OnANist enjoys professional sports, he’d probably be a fan of the Yankees.  Or maybe he’s a classic hockey guy, who appreciates hard-nosed players like Ron Tugnutt.  Or possibly he’s a good ol’ NASCAR fan who still has a poster of Dick Trickle on his wall.

So as for all those OnANists who practice their OnANism – whether in front of people or under their coverings – just know that these people are, in every conceivable way, a bunch of wack-jobs.  So, realistically, rather than let them drone on, these OnANists should follow their branding … and just wack-off.