Hey scammers – Cross-eyed Johnson says HI!

I wasn’t expecting the scammers to call so quickly.

But I WAS expecting the scammers.

Sure enough, phone call. Looks like a local 518 call on my caller ID. But I know the scammers can spoof those things. For all I know, they could post a caller ID as 867-5309, and the person who answers could be named Jenny.

Recording equipment ready.

Let’s go.

Lady answers. Asks to confirm my car.

I told her I drive a 2010 Chevrolet Cobalt. She struggles with the word “Cobalt.”

She asks me how many miles are on the car. “85,000,” I lied.

She then asks for my zip code. I told her I live in Latham. Hey, she believed everything else I said about my car. Heck, maybe next time I’ll tell them I drive a 2019 McLaren. I have no shame.

I get transferred to a sales person, who immediately asks me why I have been operating my car without an extended warranty.

I immediately tell him why. Because I take my car out to the dirt track on Friday nights, in a “Drive what you Drove” race, where all the cars are street legal vehicles. And I’m usually battling a guy named Cross-Eyed Johnson on the track, and I just kept going on with that over and over.

Trust me, I was this far away from doing my best “boss radio” spot with eight great nitro-burning FUNNEE CARZZZZ!

Afterward, the guy asked me how long it took for me to come up with that story.

Okay, that’s fine. I’m done with him. Told them not to call me back. Buh bye.

Oh, and in case you’re thinking to yourself, “Audio or it didn’t happen.”

I got’cha covered.

Today, scammers, I was nice to you.

Tomorrow … who knows?