Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi – Spoilers! Massive Spoilers!! Click to see!!!

So I just came back from a late-night opening-night screening of Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi.  And you know what…

Even though I shouldn’t reveal any spoilers for this film…

Even among the die-hard dedicated hard-core fans of the Star Wars series…

I can’t help myself.

But here’s the thing.  I know you want to see some spoilers.  You want to know what happened after the events of Episode VII: The Force Awakens.  I know you do.

The thing is… do I tell you one little nugget of information?  Maybe two?  How about a major plot line that may or may not be a twist …

So I decided that if you really wanted to know some plot treats for this movie…

I’d share them with you.

Oh, I know, you don’t want to have anything spoiled before you go to the movies.  I get that.  Really I do.

But what if I shared with you one little nugget of information?

Just one?

One eensy-weensy morsel of spoiler?

Hold on, young padawan.  If I share this with you …

It’ll be at a link further down in this blog.

A few paragraphs down.

So if you don’t want to see any spoilers…

Stop reading now.

Like right now.

Halt.  Freeze.  Stop.  Do not pass.

What, you’re still reading?

Seriously?

You must really want those Star Wars spoilers.  Maybe you couldn’t get tickets to the late night show and you know ten or fifteen people from work saw it and are going to talk about it all day at work.  And you don’t want to feel like an outsider … you know, like a Trekkie… or worse, a Browncoat…

Okay.  Keep reading down the page and I’ll provide you with a link.

Last chance to stop reading…

I mean it.  Stop scrolling down the page.

You have control over your computer screen.  Use the Force.

Just like Obi-Wan Kenobi said to do.

Ah, but I can sense a great disturbance in the Force.  You want to read those juicy spoilers.  You want to find those Easter eggs and callbacks and possible information on future Star Wars movies.

I can tell you this.  The previews for the coming attractions included the new Avengers movie, a teaser for Incredibles 2, and …

What?

You don’t care about the trailers?  You want to get the dirt?

Okay, okay.  I promised a link and …

Seriously.  If you don’t want to see any spoilers, stop now.

Last warning.

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Okay… okay…

Go to this link.  

And after that…

This link also has a major Star Wars spoiler.

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What?

Seriously?

You really expected me to violate the spoiler code and reveal plotlines in Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi?

How freakin’ stupid do you think I am?  Do you know how many friends would disown me if I told people about that moment in the movie?  Do you know how many Facebook friends would chew me out if I revealed that storyline?  Honestly?

Here’s the real spoiler.  Go spend the requisite money and see the film for yourself.  See it over the weekend.  See it next weekend, it’s not like the plot changes from week to week.

Oh, and that first “link” I provided?  About a ragtag crew up against insurmountable odds who find a way to achieve victory?

Let’s put it this way.

The Force was strong with them that day as well.

😀