By: Chuck Miller
Writing

Batman is not happy with me

Ah, time to write another blog post. Up and at ’em. 17 years without a day off … what shall I write about this morning?

Wow. Seventeen straight years of blogging. Holy consistency, Batman …

“Mr. Miller … we need to talk for a moment.”

About what?

“Well, you seem to lean on a certain linguistic crutch in your blog. And the more you lean on it, the more it bothers me.”

What linguistic crutch are you talking about?

“For one thing, you are not my sidekick. You are not the Boy Wonder. And your overuse of my name, along with the word ‘holy,’ is getting a bit tiresome.”

Oh, come on, I don’t use that phrase all the time. You’re too sensitive.

“You’ve used it a lot. Way too much for an average citizen like you.”

Right. Like you’re keeping score.

“Well, you have used it as blog headlines. Take a look.”

“Holy bats, Batman … that’s a bat, man!”
“Holy 5:30 in the morning, Batman!”
Holy product placement, Batman!

Okay. Three times. Three times isn’t a lot.

“Oh, that was just your blog headlines. Let’s look at your use inside the blog.”

Yeah, maybe two or three times in the blog itself, but nothing out of the ordinary.

“Oh, it’s more than two or three times, citizen. Let me show you.”

At which point he handed me a list of all of the references, including – in alphabetical order –

Um … well …

“So, maybe you should tune it down a bit. Can you do that?”

Sure, Caped Crusader, I can do that.

“Great. Thanks. Now I have to go battle the Riddler. I would have already taken him to justice now, but I had to stop and deal with you.”

And off he goes.

Wow.

And I looked at this list that Batman gave me.

And all I could think of was …

Holy anal-retentive, micro-managing, busy-bodying, Batman.

“I heard that.”